Return of the LB6Z.

I spent yesterday morning at the DMV to register my GTI in Illinois. Because I've neglected it for so long, I didn't feel bad about spending a ridiculous sum on specialty vanity plates. Sadly, because of Illinois' bizarre custom plate restrictions, I was unable to resurrect "LB6Z GTI," the plates the car wore throughout its life in Vermont, but I'm quite happy with my selection. (I resisted the impulse to buy the limited-edition President Obama plates, just to be obnoxious.)

To make a long story short (or rather, to make reference to a long story but neglect to tell it at all) my project GTI updates no longer have a place at VWvortex. I've already invested lots of time and money into this project, I like writing about my car, and in a turn of fate closely related to the aforementioned untold story I will now be daily driving an 18-year-old VW in Chicago.

I officially welcome my project GTI updates to Vanity Plate.

Woot!

Currently on Woot: Recaro baby seats, only $99!

That's a damned steal, almost enough to make me want an accessory-spawn or two.

I can't help but brag a little.

In two weeks, I will be up close and personal with:

Bentley Continental GT Speed
Dodge Challenger SRT8
Dodge Viper SRT10
Ford Mustang Bullitt
Lamborghini Gallardo
Lotus Exige
Maserati
Mercedes-Benz 2009 SL550
Roush Mustang

i can't promise I'll get to drive all of them, but still... how 'bout that.

Today's Chicago car tally, or, how I know summer's here:

One orange Lamborghini Murcielago, Roosevelt Avenue in Glen Ellyn.
One yellow Lamborghini, Ditka's in Oakbrook Terrace. (Who takes a Lambo to Mike Ditka's restaurant? Tool.)
Red Ferrari 430, Shell at Naperville and East Loop in Wheaton (as in, down the road from my apartment).

Et moi? I was just psyched that I pulled my GTI out of storage and took it for a spin.

In other news: I finally coughed up for my own IPASS toll transponder; this "venturing out on my own" thing could get interesting. I walked to Barnes & Noble to check out Claudine Ko's story in the current issue of "Bust"; while I was there, I caught up on my feature competition in "eurotuner" and "PVW." I'm highly entertained that "eurotuner" somehow weaseled a long-term 135 from BMW.

If my car is my castle, I live in a rabbit hutch.

Once again, Natalie Neff's being raked over the coals for her latest column on AutoWeek.com; the forum posters over there make The Car Lounge look tame by comparison. Her piece, a lighthearted bit advising her brother to evaluate prospective tenants by their cars, is being criticized for being irrelevant.

Point A: Perhaps, in the context of AutoWeek's usual content, this is true. That's why the story's on the web and not in the print issue.

Point B: The more pressing issue is that Neff's argument is entirely relevant. How often do we judge fellow motorists based on their vehicles, and how often are those assumptions correct? When my husband and I lived in Milwaukee, we spent a few hours at the laundromat every weekend, and passed the time by trying to match each laundromat patron with a car in the parking lot. Our track record was scarily accurate.

Bear with me, if you will, and check out the cars parked at the local Wal-Mart. Go inside, if you can stand it, and watch the customers. I will never be convinced that these cars, usually comprised of rusty Toyota minivans, early '90s Civics riding on cut springs and spinner hubcaps, and the famous periwinkle blue Plymouth Neon that shed paint in Frisbee-sized sheets, are not indicative of Wal-Mart consumers' average economic and physical health. Take a trip down the road to the closest Target, and bask in the brighter, cleaner, friendlier, and more pleasant atmosphere .

I know where I prefer to park my cars. How about you?

Such observations are, indeed, a part of automotive culture. The market research geniuses have known this for decades.

I had a rolling start, and then I stalled.

Thanks are due to my lovely Katherine; you've done quite the job keeping this alive while I've been stressed the hell out doing other things.

The uninformed often tell me they want my life. Today, several of my coworkers (all male) gathered in my cubicle to gawk at the glossy 8x10s shot by my husband during my first track excursion this weekend (for which yet another huge thanks goes out to Katherine). My friend Jkrew told me via AIM that he was jealous that I had another unique driving experience this weekend, a sunny afternoon with the Polo BlueMotion.

But therein lies the problem. Here I sit on the couch with 14-hour-old mascara flaking off my lashes as I struggle to recall the minutae of my weekend. Facts and figures swirl through my head; km/h and mph conversions are confusing the hell out of me. I have no idea how to make a story from these numbers, but rest assured, the Polo BlueMotion is a hell of a lil' car.

Now I know why Jkrew laughed at me, back when he was working on VW.com and I gushed constantly about my jealousy.

Do I buy a racing helmet, or do I buy an iPhone?

My, my, Jeff!

Jeff Sabatini is a very good and interesting auto writer, and I generally like his columns for the Wall Street Journal. They're frequently uplifting and a good reminder of why we drive.

So I was a little surprised when I read his review of the 2009 Toyota Corolla. Strike that. His rape of the 2009 Toyota Corolla.

Not that I would have written it differently, but in thought, I probably wouldn't have written it at all. It's the ugly, unvarnished truth about not just the car, but the Americans who buy it.

Jeff, I salute you for saying what most of us want to say every day: Americans don't know shit about cars.

Crouton!

The pundits over in The Car Lounge have taken Volkswagen's new minivan to task with a twenty-two page thread on the Dodge Caravan reskin. The thread is complete with endless bitching about Chrysler drivetrains, transmissions, and switchgear, full-on VW dashstroking, and a very detailed look at the comfort level provided by Stow'n'Go (or is that Verstau'n'Fahr?) seating versus the van's captain's chairs. VPB will refrain from commenting on just what exactly one should put in the storage bins on the floor.

The best poke of all, however, goes to chippervw, who dubbed the rolling loaf of bread the "Chroutan". A contraction of Chrysler and Routan, it's pronounced "crouton" and appears to be sticking. A girlfriend of mine suggested garlic air freshener to complete the image. To hell with L.L. Bean and Eddie Bauer, I want my Chroutan with the Alton Brown package!

How to reset your inventory in five easy steps

I don't know who Bob Nardelli is kidding. Chrylser's inventories are higher than any one thinks is appropriate. You can't idle a plant just because, so if you want to get those inventories sorted out, you have to come up with a good reason. If you're sitting up in Auburn Hills and you discover that one of your key components suppliers is about to file Chapter 11, your little brain cogs should start spinning in a hurry. Let's face it, why wait for a parts shortage when you can invent one in a few short hours and two inches of fax paper? Who cares about the rest of the industry when you can slash your way to health?

What happened in Bob's little head? Here's a snapshot:

1. Identify bankrupt supplier
2. Cancel contract with said supplier
3. .......
4. Announce (self-inflicted) parts shortage
5. Shut down over-producing plants
6. Inventory magically reduces!

Shiny red!

If the guys over at Allpar.com are not smoking crack, then it's too bad I'm not old, little or from Pasedena, because I want two in shiny red!