Soccer Mom Angst

I'm a Cub Scout Den Mother. I really enjoy the scouting aspects of it. I could do without the stay-at-home moms, though. While the working moms pick up and drop off their sons with aplomb and rarely find it necessary to raise their voices, the stay-at-homes rarely smile and generally comport themselves with chips the size of Microsoft on their shoulders. The SUVs, sedans, and minivans of entire bunch can also be divded into two groups - those with clean interiors, and those that rival EPA Superfund sites.

Like many of the other professional women I know, whether through work or through my new time suck, the interior of my car is quite nice. It's a bit cluttered occasionally, but under that, the upholstery still looks good and the carpets are clean. My kids and whichever friends are riding along get the rules: No food. No drinks. No anything that can't be brushed out. I have too much personal pride to drive a pigsty. I've worked too hard to let my image be compromised by anything other than a stray harness or occasional grocery bag. If nothing else, I keep my car - my personal space in the outside world - clean enough to invite guests into.

Open the doors belonging to the angry moms, and you reveal Doritos in the carpet and papers stuck to the floor. Pinch your nose, because let me tell you, oxidized fruit juice smells bad. The vehicles look like bombs went off. I can only imagine what their lives are like if they can't even keep the car clean.

If my car looked like that, I'd be cranky, bitchy, and yelling at my kids all the time, too.

It's not being forced to drive a five year old minivan that makes you miserable. It's being so out of control of your life that you can't even keep it clean that does.

Bus People

I camped with my kids and about 150 bus people last weekend. It was the most mentally relaxing weekend I have had in years.

I suppose "bus people" takes some explaining. The VW world is split between aircooled (old Beetle and Bus) and watercooled (Golf and Jetta). I am a watercooled person, largely because all of my cars are watercooled and I have never done the aircooled thing. The aircooleds are divided into "bus people" and everyone else. Bus people are aging hippies with microbuses, usually the camperbus variety.

I was invited to join L.E.A.K.O.I.L. for their yearly weekend at Kelleys Island, OH. The Lake Erie Area Kombi Owners Involvement League provides a forum for bus people around the middle lakes. Several friends participate in the group and had shared tales of a weekend of drinking and no driving at a 4H campground. All kids welcome - someone would look after them! I arrived at the campsite and took in the 50-plus buses that showed up. My sons took off for Lake Erie, about 150 yards away. For the next 24 hours, I watched as my sons played with the other little kids (and big kids) that were at the site. I enjoyed a few beers with their parents as we watched over the 15-plus kids that were skipping stones in the lake, running around with boxes on their heads, and at night, coverd up in glow sticks. Dinner was potluck and later in the evening, I learned to drive a friend's '59 Single Cab (second gear is where?). We slept through the overnight golf-cart mayhem, and joined other friends for breakfast. There was something in the air that set me completely at ease.

I've never really grasped the bus lifestyle, but I think I understand part of it now. A tiny microcosm of the VW world, it's a step out of time into a place where time doesn't matter quite so much. My husband and I have toyed with the idea of finding a Eurovan Weekender (watercooled modern camperbus) for some time, and I'm a lot closer to taking the plunge now. What's holding me back? The only thing that costs more than a decent camperbus is a decent Eurovan. At $40K, they still sell for close to new prices, and are rarer than needle valves on a Civic.

I can still dream.