Crouton!

The pundits over in The Car Lounge have taken Volkswagen's new minivan to task with a twenty-two page thread on the Dodge Caravan reskin. The thread is complete with endless bitching about Chrysler drivetrains, transmissions, and switchgear, full-on VW dashstroking, and a very detailed look at the comfort level provided by Stow'n'Go (or is that Verstau'n'Fahr?) seating versus the van's captain's chairs. VPB will refrain from commenting on just what exactly one should put in the storage bins on the floor.

The best poke of all, however, goes to chippervw, who dubbed the rolling loaf of bread the "Chroutan". A contraction of Chrysler and Routan, it's pronounced "crouton" and appears to be sticking. A girlfriend of mine suggested garlic air freshener to complete the image. To hell with L.L. Bean and Eddie Bauer, I want my Chroutan with the Alton Brown package!

How to reset your inventory in five easy steps

I don't know who Bob Nardelli is kidding. Chrylser's inventories are higher than any one thinks is appropriate. You can't idle a plant just because, so if you want to get those inventories sorted out, you have to come up with a good reason. If you're sitting up in Auburn Hills and you discover that one of your key components suppliers is about to file Chapter 11, your little brain cogs should start spinning in a hurry. Let's face it, why wait for a parts shortage when you can invent one in a few short hours and two inches of fax paper? Who cares about the rest of the industry when you can slash your way to health?

What happened in Bob's little head? Here's a snapshot:

1. Identify bankrupt supplier
2. Cancel contract with said supplier
3. .......
4. Announce (self-inflicted) parts shortage
5. Shut down over-producing plants
6. Inventory magically reduces!